The Second Life of Janice Lester
by BobH2
Summary: Jim Kirk is now Janice Lester, with no memory of ever having been anyone else. So now what happens?
1. Chapter 1

_Note: This is both a sequel to and extension of my earlier story 'Turnabout Intruder - part 2' which, being new here, I think I gave too restrictive a rating, hence one step back for this one. The story has already been completed and chapters will be posted here as updates over the next week or two until it's all up. _

**2269: Elba II**

"I stole your body because I wanted to captain a starship, something Starfleet doesn't allow women to do," said Janice Lester. "It's amazing that we've come so far technologically yet regressed socially. I think the feminists of previous centuries would be very disappointed in us."

"I agree," I said, "but these things tend to go in cycles - two steps forward, then one step back. There are already signs that things are changing again."

"I know, but too late for me. I'm out of Starfleet and I've missed my chance."

In my long career in Starfleet, this was one of the stranger conversations I'd had. We were on the asylum planet of Elba II, the place where the Federation keeps the few remaining citizens too criminally insane to be treated even by our advanced medical technology, and Janice was strapped into an outlawed brainwashing device from the Eugenics Wars which looked like a high-tech version of the barbaric electric chairs they had used to execute people in the twentieth century. It had originally been designed to overwrite the personalities of captured troops so that they could then be turned against their former allies, but it was now being used for a more benign purpose. Janice had created a template for the machine containing a modified version of her own memories and personality, one designed to overwrite her current, destructive personality and create a more feminine, submissive Janice Lester free of the demons that had plagued her and ultimately driven her mad.

"You got to briefly captain the Enterprise when you were me," I said, "and you made a mess of it."

"True," she replied, "but I did so intentionally."

"What are you talking about?"

"When the machine on Camus II switched our minds it created a link between us that I knew would enable me to read your memories and absorb your skills. The catch was that this took time, and I wouldn't have what it took to command the Enterprise until then. I needed the mind switch to establish the link, but I couldn't fully take advantage of it until I'd had time to absorb all your knowledge. It's what used to be known as a classic catch-22. So I deliberately made a mess of things, acting like I'd completely lost control, and allowed you to temporarily switch us back."

"'Temporarily...?'"

"Yes. It was all an act, even my apparent attempt to strangle you after we swapped places. Once the switch has been made by the machine it can only be undone by the machine. We're still connected. We have been since I switched our minds on Camus II. I've now absorbed all the skills, memories and knowledge I need to take your place permanently, enough so that even with a Vulcan mind meld Mr Spock couldn't tell I wasn't you."

There was a brief hissing sound as Janice pressed the trigger on the air syringe that had been rigged to fire a paralysing drug into her veins when she was ready to administer it, then I felt a moment of vertigo as the entire world seemed to momentarily lurch, everything turning white. When my vision cleared I was looking up into my own face, the face of Captain James T. Kirk, unable to move.

"Goodbye, Janice," said Janice Lester, now back in my body, "I hope you'll find happiness as the feminine, submissive woman you're about to become. I'll certainly be happy knowing that's who you are. I think it's going to look really good on you. And that's not all. Though Arthur Coleman was just a means to an end, someone whose help I needed, he does genuinely love me. So it seems only fair he should get the girl, should win the prize he worked so hard for. That's why for the new 'improved' Janice Lester personality I created he's her ideal man, while she's the Janice Lester he's always wanted. You're going to be his reward from me for his loyal service."

Try as I might I could not move a muscle and so had no way of signalling what had happened to those watching, or of expressing my rising panic. She had planned everything meticulously. This had been her endgame since she first placed me in the machine on Camus II. Now she had sprung the trap and there was no way out of it. Seeing the fear in my eyes, Janice smirked and kissed me on the forehead. She then lowered the cowl of the device down over my head.

"Okay, Bones," she said, as she stepped through the cubicle door, "let's get this thing done so I can get back to the Captain's chair on the Enterprise, back to where I belong."

Unaware that anything was wrong, Bones remotely activated the device. Instantly, I felt alien thoughts, memories, and desires flooding into my mind and overwhelming my own, forcing them out.

If I could, I would have screamed.

I think I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew Dr McCoy was at my side, firing an anti-paralytic into my arm while his colleague Mr Scott unstrapped me from the device. They helped me to my feet and held my arms as I stood unsteadily on my five inch heels.

"Do you know who you are?" asked Dr McCoy.

"Of course I do," I said, "I'm Janice Lester."

"And how do you feel?"

"I have a killer headache, though that's fading now."

"Only to be expected in the circumstances. Is there anything you're experiencing anxiety about?"

"There is one thing."

I turned to Mr Scott.

"Could you get me my purse?" I asked him.

"I cannae see it, lass," he said, frowning.

"It's behind the chair."

"Oh aye, I see it now," he said, retrieving it for me.

Reaching into the purse, I pulled out my make-up kit and opened it. When I saw myself in the mirror I let out a sigh of relief.

"I was worried that having my head strapped back like that would have messed up my hair," I said, fluffing it with my other hand, "but I seem to have got away with it."

"You look lovely, Janice," said Jim Kirk, who had followed his subordinates into the chamber and was now grinning down at me. He offered me his arm.

"Shall we?" he said.

I took it and he led me out of the chamber, out of the room it was in, and along the corridor beyond to the designated transporter area.

"Scotty and Dr McCoy will deactivate the device and prepare it for transport to the Enterprise," he explained as we walked, "then it will be taken back to Earth and returned to the secure weapons vault in Nevada we borrowed it from."

"What about me?" I asked.

"You can't be held criminally responsible for your actions while the balance of your mind was disturbed, but Starfleet is still insisting you be confined to Earth. Despite the testimony of you and Dr Coleman that the deaths of the other members of your Camus II expedition were an accident suspicions remain. I'm afraid this trip on the Enterprise will be your final journey into space."

We had reached the transporter area. Jim flipped open his communicator.

"Two to beam up," he said.


	2. Chapter 2

**2269: The Enterprise**

When we materialised in the Enterprise's transporter bay, a pretty blonde yeoman was there to meet us.

"Yeoman Rand is a former crew member being given a ride to Earth for her next posting," said Jim, stepping off the transporter pad. "I contacted her while you were undergoing the process and she's agreed to let you share her cabin on the trip home. We'll beam your effects up from the asylum and I'll have them brought to you there."

And with that he was gone, the doors opening then whooshing closed behind him as he headed for the bridge.

"Hi, my name's Janice," said Yeoman Rand holding out her hand.

"Me too," I said, shaking it.

"C'mon, let's get you set up in the cabin."

We headed down the corridor and took a turbolift to the deck Janice's quarters were on, chatting all the way.

"So, you're just hitching a lift?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I was on assignment on Vulcan when the Enterprise stopped by to drop off Mr Spock on its milk run to Elba II - the Enterprise is going to be in spacedock for scheduled maintenance for the next month and Spock elected to take shore leave on his homeworld - so they were able to give me a lift back to Earth where I'm enrolling in Starfleet's transporter school. I'm twenty-nine now and I've been a yeoman long enough."

"Same age as me. What's it like being back aboard the Enterprise after several years away?"

"It feels strange, like returning to a house that used to be your home but isn't any more. Ah, here we are..."

The doors to her quarters whooshed open and Janice showed me in.

"It's a twin-bedded room," she said, "and that one's yours."

I sat down on the bed she'd indicated, and took the tiny holo projector from my purse. I turned it on and it instantly started projecting 3D images in the air above, slowly cycling through them.

"Who's that?" asked Janice.

"Arthur Coleman," I sighed, feeling a strange sensation in my stomach as I looked at the pictures of him.

"Ah, so he's your sweetie!"

"No, not yet, but I hope he will be. In the past I haven't always been as nice to him as I should have. Do you have anyone?"

"Jamie. I can't wait to get together again when I'm back on Earth."

The door buzzed. Someone wanted to see one or other of us. Janice opened it and Lt Uhura entered. She was wearing a dashiki dress and carrying a flask of Saurian brandy.

"What brings you here, ma'am?"

"Please, it's Nyota when I'm off duty, and I'm here to see an old friend."

The two women hugged, then Uhura turned her attention to me.

"Janice Lester," she said. "I hear you're cured now."

"I hope so."

"I hope so, too. I wasn't on board when you tried to take over the ship, but I heard all about it when I got back. That wasn't good, though I understand your frustrations."

"You do?"

"Of course. There isn't a woman on this ship who doesn't. Starfleet policy in respect to female starship captains has never officially changed, yet it's been twenty years since a woman was last appointed. Oh, they say that's just a coincidence, but it's hardly surprising so many of us believe they have a de facto policy against appointing women. The problem is the misogynists on the selection board. They wouldn't have got away with it in the past, but the last twenty years have been the most culturally retrograde we've had to suffer through in quite a while."

"No argument here," I said.

"Your way of breaking through the glass ceiling was a little drastic, though."

"Uhura!"

"It's okay, Janice," I said, "I have to expect curiosity about my body-jacking of Jim Kirk."

"What did it feel like, being a man?" asked Uhura.

"I wish I could tell you," I said, "but I have no memory of what it feels like to have a male body at all. And that's probably for the best. When I recorded all my memories to create this new, saner personality that was one of the things I completely edited out. I was never gender-dysphoric in the traditional sense, never thought I was a man trapped in a woman's body, but I had come to despise being a woman because of how I felt it was holding me back. That sort of self-hate is a terrible thing. I was so extremely ambitious that having that ambition thwarted basically drove me mad. In others ambition can be a good thing but it was clearly dangerous and destructive in me, so it had to go too. I needed to reconnect with my femininity, to rediscover the joy of being a woman."

"And are you?"

"I'm beginning to, yes, though I think I may have overdone the physical vanity in the new me. I seem to be checking my hair and make-up every five minutes."

"Oh," said Janice, looking embarrassed, "I do that every five minutes, too."

We all laughed at this, and it felt good.

"The thought of overwriting a body's original personality and completely erasing it gives me the creeps," said Uhura.

"And if it was done against someone's will I'd agree," I said, "that's totally monstrous and why the device was rightly outlawed in the first place. But this was my choice and the new me was my creation. Janice Lester just became a modified version of Janice Lester. I was in control of the process the whole time. Used like this, the device could have real therapeutic value."

"Yes, but if we made its use acceptable at all it wouldn't just be used like that. Sooner or later someone would start using it the way it originally was. No, safer if you're just a special one-off case."

"You're probably right."

"I know I am. Now how about some glasses so we can share this fine Saurian brandy?"

Janice fetched glasses from the bathroom and Uhura poured. It was some of the best brandy I've ever tasted.

"What are your plans for your shore leave, Nyota?" asked Janice, sipping her brandy.

"I'm beaming down to Kenya," said Uhura, "I need to feel my native soil beneath my feet again and reconnect with family. After that I'll be trekking across the Serengeti. There's a new alien language Starfleet wants me to crack and it always helps if I'm communing with nature while doing so."

"That's right," said Janice, "I always forget you're one of Starfleet's foremost xenolinguists."

"Yes, I'm not just the glorified telephone operator some people seem to think I am. I could easily get a professorship at the university of my choice, but I love the adventure of space exploration too much to be tied down like that. The only language I've always had trouble with is, unfortunately, Klingon. For some reason I've never been able to fully wrap my brain around that damn tongue."

"How about you, Janice?" asked Janice. "What are your plans now you've been released from Elba II?"

"I own an apartment in Oakland - you can see across the bay to Starfleet HQ from my window - so I guess I'll try to pick up the pieces of my life. But my first priority is Arthur. He goes on trial next week and I need to be there for him."

Uhura nodded at me approvingly. I didn't know what it was, but it felt like I'd passed some sort of test with her. And that was it for serious conversation. What followed next was what men dismissively refer to as 'girl talk', punctuated by lots of laughter and brandy drinking. I realised I was really enjoying being with these women. I hardly knew them and there was no reason why they should be friendly toward me, yet they were. The old Janice Lester didn't have any women friends, had had no patience for female company at all. If that was because of something other than her madness then she was an idiot.

Later in the bathroom, after Uhura had returned to her own quarters, I slid out of my dress and examined my body in the wall mirror. I liked what I saw. That's when Janice Rand entered. She was instantly apologetic when she realised she had barged in on me.

"Sorry, sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to violate your privacy."

"Not a problem. I was just admiring my body and trying to remember when I came to hate it, because the new me loves it."

"So you should," said Janice, "you're beautiful."


	3. Chapter 3

**2269: Starfleet Court Building, San Francisco**

"I put it to you, gentlemen, that Arthur Coleman was not the instigator of the Enterprise hijacking but went along with it out of his obsessive love for the true instigator, Dr Janice Lester. Being a civilised society we don't hold Dr Lester responsible for actions taken while the balance of her mind was disturbed. But this leaves us in the strange position of prosecuting the accomplice while letting the instigator go free. This is doubly unfair when you consider the obsessive love the defendant feels for Dr Lester is itself a form of madness. Oh, it might not be recognized as a clinical condition but there's no doubt Arthur Coleman would have done anything Dr Lester asked of him, regardless of the consequences. She may not have been in her right mind, but in many ways neither was he."

"So you don't think we should punish him, Captain Kirk?" said Admiral Nogura, the head of the military tribunal.

"I do, but I'm saying that punishment needs to be proportional. As the aggrieved party I can't see that incarceration would accomplish anything. Both Doctors Lester and Coleman have already been confined to Earth with no possibility of going into space again. I would argue that this is punishment enough."

I watched from the gallery, still surprised that Jim Kirk had decided to testify on Arthur's behalf. Leonard McCoy, Montgomery Scott, Pavel Chekov and Hikaru Sulu had all given evidence before the tribunal as had Lt. Lisa, who had been temporarily standing in for Uhura during the mission to Camus II and was now stationed on Earth. Jim Kirk was the last to speak, and he had spoken for Arthur. Exile on Earth was better than him being sent to some hellhole of a penal colony world, especially for me. I wanted to make a life with Arthur, so I needed him here.

The members of the tribunal conferred with each other, weighing up Jim's words. Sitting beside me, Janice Rand squeezed my hand.

"I've got a good feeling about this," she said.

"Let's hope things go well for you both," said Uhura, who was sitting on the other side of me.

Uhura had taken a temporary break from her trek across the Serengeti to attend the hearing. One of the advantages to being a serving officer in Starfleet was that it gave you 'beaming privileges', meaning you could be beamed up from any point on the planet by an orbiting installation and down to any other on request, sometimes within minutes. Like Janice, Uhura wanted to be there for me. Our friendship might be newly stuck, and surprising, but it already meant a great deal to me.

When the three tribunal members had finished conferring, Admiral Nogura turned to deliver their verdict.

"After considering the testimony of all concerned, this tribunal is minded to agree with Captain Kirk that in this case exile on Earth is punishment enough. Accordingly, the prisoner is now released and is free to go."

In the dock, Arthur's shoulders slumped with the release of tension while I let out a small gasp of relief. Janice and Uhura - the only ones to hear it - patted me on the back.

"Before you all leave," said Admiral Nogura, "I have to inform you that Camus II has now been declared off-limits and those of you who are aware of the device there and what it is capable of are ordered to tell no one about it. We will be requiring you to list anyone you may have already told so that they too can be sworn to secrecy. The nature of the device is such that if knowledge of its existence got out it would inevitably be destabilising. That is all."

With that the tribunal filed out, Arthur was taken into a back room so that release papers could be signed and his effects returned to him, and we three made our way down to the courtroom chamber floor. Janice immediately rushed into the arms of Lt. Lisa, and the two women kissed.

"Lt. Jamie Lisa," said Uhura, seeing my surprise, "Janice's current girlfriend."

"Then Janice is..."

"Bi, yes; always has been. Her tastes seem to run to macho men and feminine women, although since transferring off the Enterprise she's definitely been leaning more towards women."

Jim Kirk wandered over.

"Ladies," he said.

I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for getting Arthur off, Jim," I said. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done."

"It was my pleasure. So what are your plans now that Arthur's free?"

"I'm going to take him back to my apartment and straight to bed. We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"I approve," he said, grinning. "I think that's exactly what you should do."

""""""

**2269: Starfleet Academy ballroom, San Francisco**

It had been a beautiful ceremony before a Justice of the Peace in the old Mission District, and I looked and felt like a princess in the dress that had been Jim Kirk's wedding present. With all its silk and lace and fine embroidery, it was a stunning creation. Not only had Jim supplied my bridal gown, he had also got us this room for the party and had agreed to give me away, since neither Arthur nor I had any family. Janice Rand had been my maid of honor and now, dancing here in Arthur's arms, I smiled as I watched her and Jamie dancing together a few feet from us.

I'm sure everyone thought this was all very sudden, Arthur and I getting hitched barely three weeks after his release, but we were more than ready and I wanted the wedding to take place before Enterprise headed off on the final two-year leg of its five year mission so that my friends could celebrate our union with us.

"May I cut in?" said Jim Kirk, tapping Arthur on the shoulder.

"Of course, Captain," said Arthur.

Jim took my husband's place, sliding his hands around my waist.

"So, Janice, how does it feel to be Mrs Coleman?" he said.

"Wonderful, but I'm keeping my own surname. This is the twenty-third century, after all."

"Quite right, too."

"How about you? Are you looking forward to getting back out there?"

"Like you would not believe. I was born to be the captain of a starship. Adventuring out among the stars is where I belong."

"I've got an adventure of my own coming up in nine months."

"Nine...does that mean?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant."

"Wow, that was quick. I'm impressed."

"I told you Arthur and I had a lot of lost time to make up for, and we have been."

"Good for you," he said, looking at me thoughtfully, "good for you."


	4. Chapter 4

**2270: San Francisco General Hospital**

Having experienced it for myself I now understood why they refer to giving birth as 'labor', but all that effort and all that pain paled into insignificance when measured against the joy I felt at finally holding my baby in my arms. I was propped up in bed in the maternity ward while she focussed her bright, curious eyes on my visitor.

"What are you calling her?" asked Janice Rand.

"Grace Athena Coleman."

"Ooh, I like that. Grace is a good, strong name."

"Thanks. We named her for Arthur's mother. There are great things ahead for this baby girl; I can feel it in my bones."

""""""

**2271: Starfleet HQ, San Francisco**

"It's been nine months since our five year mission ended and they moved Enterprise into spacedock for a major refit and rebuild," said Uhura, taking a swig of her contraband Romulan ale, "and it'll be another eighteen months at least before they finish. In the meantime I think I'm starting to go stir-crazy. I need to be _out_ there!"

"Hey, you agreed to stay with her rather than transfer out. An extended stay on Earth was always part of the deal if you did that," said Janice Rand, "and apart from Spock and Doctor McCoy, you all did."

"You forgot Jim Kirk," I said.

"No I didn't. He got promoted to Admiral as his reward for the success of our five year mission. Although since promotion meant giving up his captaincy of the Enterprise I'm not sure he sees it as a reward."

"I like his advocacy in his new role," I said. "It's about time someone gave the old guard a kick up the backside and pushed for the appointment of female starship captains being made a priority. As he's been so forcefully pointing out, the perception there's a glass ceiling when it comes to promoting women is damaging to Starfleet."

"I never thought I'd see the day," said Uhura, shaking her head. "Don't get me wrong, I love that man but gender politics were never his strong suit. So 'James T. Kirk: feminist hero' is going to take a little getting used to."

"Well, as Chief of Starfleet Operations he certainly has the clout. Nice to see it being put to good use," I said.

The three of us were in Janice's tiny quarters at Starfleet HQ, drinking Uhura's Romulan Ale and shooting the breeze. Now that we were currently all based on Earth - not that I had a choice in the matter - these get togethers had become a regular and very welcome occurrence, a night out just for me while I left Arthur at home minding the baby.

"How is the transporter training coming along?" asked Uhura.

"Even better than I'd hoped," said Janice, with a grin. "I applied to join the Enterprise transporter team when they finish the refit and I got accepted. Looks like we're going to be crewmates again, Nyota."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" said Uhura, giving her a hug. "Though you might not be so happy when you see the new uniforms they're going to make us all wear. They're not good."

"Have they appointed a replacement captain yet?" I asked.

"Yes, some hot-shot named Willard Decker," said Uhura, "son of the late Commodore Matt Decker and hand-picked by Jim Kirk himself, apparently. It's going to be weird serving aboard the Enterprise under someone else. I wonder if this Decker has got what it takes?"

""""""

**2273: Oakland**

"So Will Decker sacrificed himself to save our world?" said Arthur.

"Technically, he merged with a machine intelligence and became a higher form of being," said Janice Rand, who had come to visit with us as soon as the emergency had passed, "but, yes, he sacrificed himself to save Earth. I was at my post in Enterprise's transporter room most of the time so I missed out on all the action."

"Not as much as we did down here on Earth," I said. "Communications were out across the globe for a while, but apart from that the sole effect of V'Ger's incursion into our space was a spectacular lightshow."

"Fireworks," said Grace, snuggled up on the sofa between me and her father, "liked fireworks. Can we have fireworks again, mommy?"

"Oh, I'm sure there'll be fireworks again, Gracie," I said, ruffling her hair, "whether you want them or not, there always are."


	5. Chapter 5

**2274: San Francisco General Hospital**

"Last time I was all about the natural birth. Never again. This time I'm having an epidural. Grant Michael Coleman is going to give me a lot less pain entering the world than his sister did."

"Anything you want, honey," said Arthur, holding my hand and smiling down at me.

"You're really happy it's a boy this time, aren't you."

"I truly am," he agreed, "and when he's older I'm going to do all those father/son things with him my own Dad never had time to do with me. I'm looking forward to it more than I can say."

""""""

**2278: Golden Gate Park, San Francisco**

"It's been more than a year now and I still can't believe it," I said. "A traffic accident. Who gets killed in traffic accidents anymore? Arthur died before the paramedics could get to him. He'd been gone too long for any possibility of resuscitation by the time they did."

"I'm so sorry I couldn't get back to see you before this," said Janice. "I feel like I let you down by not being here for you then. At least now that I've decided to pursue officer training rather than remain a transporter technician I'll be at Starfleet HQ for the next few years."

"My job as a civilian lecturer in xenoarcheology at Starfleet Academy helped keep my mind off things," I said, "but having you here would've been wonderful. I understood why you weren't. The Enterprise was on an important mission in deep space at the time. They needed you out there."

"Yes, and you needed me here, too. There are times when being able to be in two places at once seems like the best of all possible abilities you could have.

"You're here now, and that's what matters. Tea?"

We were having a picnic in the park. Grace was playing with her little brother nearby. It was a glorious day, so when Janice wanted to get together I suggested we do so here rather than in our apartment. I also had another motive, one which was making my palms sweat.

"Thank you," said Janice as I poured. " So how are you handling it?"

"Surprisingly well, actually. I've mourned Arthur, and now I'm ready to move on with my life."

"Does that mean you're involved with someone else?"

"I hope to be soon. How about you? It's five years since you and Jamie split up. Why did you call it quits, anyway? You never did tell me."

"She thought I was in love with someone else."

"Were you?"

"Yes, though I've never told her," she said, sounding uncomfortable and unable to look me in the eye.

This was the moment. Nervously, I placed my hand over hers.

"She knows," I said.

Janice looked both startled, and afraid of what might come next.

"Something about my feelings for Arthur that I've only realised since his death," I said, "is they weren't real. Oh, they felt real enough at the time, but since his death...nothing. When I created my new personality I must have programmed in feelings for him, because since his death I've had no sexual thoughts about men at all, only women."

"Does that mean...?" said Janice, staring at me intensely, eyes full of hope.

"It means that when I think about the person I want to be with, that person is you, Janice, and that if you want me..."

I never got the chance to finish the sentence because Janice pulled me to her, her lips seeking mine, and then we were kissing passionately.

"I think I fell in love with you when I saw you naked that time we shared a cabin on the Enterprise," said Janice when we came up for air, "You were so perfect you took my breath away."

"I've had two children since then," I said, glancing over at them. Grace was watching us with a big smile on her face.

"I don't care. You're still as beautiful to me today as you were when I first laid eyes on you eight years ago. A few stretch marks won't change that."

"This is a big leap we're about to take," I said, "But it could be the start of something wonderful."

"Oh, it will be," said Janice, leaning in to kiss me again, "I'm sure of it."


	6. Chapter 6

**2279: Starfleet Academy ballroom, San Francisco**

It was difficult not to feel a sense of deja vu. Once again we were in the Starfleet Academy ballroom following a beautiful ceremony before a Justice of the Peace in the old Mission District, and once again I looked and felt like a princess in the dress that had been Jim Kirk's wedding present last time out and which I was wearing again for this wedding. With all its silk and lace and fine embroidery, it was a stunning creation, and since I can still get into it would have been a crime not to wear it a second time. Janice looked suitably dashing in her Starfleet dress uniform, Grant made an adorable flower boy, and my tomboy daughter, who usually hated wearing dresses, had happily worn one on this occasion to be our maid of honor. The last time I got married, Janice was my maid of honor. I remember dancing with Arthur and watching her dance with Jamie. Now I was the one dancing with Janice, and she was my wife. It's funny how things sometimes turn out.

"A penny for them?" said Janice as she swirled me around.

"I was just thinking that from now on I'll be introducing you as 'Janice, my wife' and how much I liked the sound of that."

"Me too," she said, leaning in to give me a quick kiss on the lips.

Everyone was on the dancefloor except Jim Kirk, who was sitting on the sidelines talking with my son. Grant was sitting on Jim's lap and chatting away animatedly in that way only a 5 year old can. Jim had the most wistful look I'd ever seen on his face, tenderly ruffling Grant's golden hair as he listened to him babble on.

I thought about that look often in the days that followed, but I've no idea what it meant.

""""""

**2283: Cinnamon Cove, Maine**

Even through the glass I could hear the cawing of the seagulls overhead as I gazed out the picture window of the holiday cottage where my family and I had been vacationing for the past week. I couldn't help but smile at the sight before me. Grant was sitting out front at an easel, painting the scenic view before him. He was a quiet, serious boy, and despite being only nine years old was already an impressive artist. There was a stillness about him that was in direct contrast to the restless energy of his sister. He could sit still for hours, where Grace needed to be up and about and doing things. What she was currently doing was climbing the sharp cliff face on the headland at the outer edge of the bay, though at the moment she was out of sight.

Then there was Janice. As I watched so she emerged from the waves having completed her daily swim across the bay. She looked gorgeous in her swimsuit and she was mine, a fact that still made me smile. I watched her walk up the small beach, towelling herself off as she progressed towards the cottage, and was waiting for her as she came through the door. It had been four years, but we still kissed with the passion of newlyweds.

"I was surprised to find you weren't there when I woke," I told her.

"Hey, I do get up before you once in a while," she chuckled.

"Did you see Grace during your swim?"

"Yeah, she was tackling an overhang last time I spotted her. Our daughter is fearless."

"That's what worries me. I hope she doesn't get new cuts and bruises to add to those she managed to acquire last week."

"Those are badges of honor," said Janice. "When those bullies picked on Grant because he preferred to hang out with his friend Amy rather than kick a ball around they let themselves in for a world of hurt."

"Grace has been fiercely protective of him since the day he was born. I guess those bullies never got the memo, that if you're going to mess with Grant Coleman his sister is going to have more than just words with you."

"Our feisty little warrior," said Janice, shaking her head ruefully. "There were three of them, and she sent them all fleeing with their tails between their legs."

Smiling, I stroked Janice's cheek, and we kissed again.

"This is perfect," I said, "being here with you, Grant, and Grace, the three people I love most in the world. My family. I can honestly say this is the happiest I've ever been. And it feels wonderful."

"Me too," said Janice, leaning in for another kiss, "me too."


	7. Chapter 7

**2285: Starfleet HQ, San Francisco**

"Spock's dead?!"

I couldn't believe what Uhura was telling us.

"How did it happen?" asked Janice, her eyes brimming with tears.

"The details are classified," said Uhura, "but he died saving everyone on board the Enterprise from Khan Noonien Singh."

"Khan? The man behind the brainwashing device I used to reprogram my personality? Didn't he die three centuries ago?"

"No," said Uhura, sounding and looking tired. "We encountered him on a mission years ago and thought we'd seen the back of him. We were wrong then, but he's not coming back this time. Unfortunately, he managed to do enough damage to the Enterprise that Starfleet Command has decided to decommission her. She's over thirty years old now and they don't believe it's worth what it would take to refurbish her. So this is the end of the line for her. She'll never fly again."

"And Spock is dead," I said, still trying to get my mind around that one.

"Spock is dead," she agreed. "The only good thing to come out of this whole sorry mess is that Admiral Kirk got to meet his son, David."

"James Kirk has a son?" I said, astonished. "He kept that quiet."

"He did indeed. Look, the reason I asked you to come to my quarters tonight is that this is the last chance we're likely to get to be together for what could be a very long time, so I couldn't let it pass."

"Where are you going?" asked Janice.

"I'm not at liberty to say, but I think you'll hear about it soon enough. And now I'm afraid you have to be going. It was great seeing you both again, and I really hope things work out so we'll be able to do this again one day."

She hugged us both tightly, then we headed out. I don't think I've ever seen Uhura look so sad.

"What do you think *that* was all about?" I asked Janice as we boarded the transit shuttle that would carry us home to Oakland.

"No idea," she said, "but Nyota seems to think we'll find out soon enough."

We did.

Three days later she, Jim Kirk and the others stole the Enterprise, and Starfleet declared them wanted fugitives.

""""""

**2286: Golden Gate Park, San Francisco**

"Spock's alive?!"

"So they're claiming," said Janice, as she opened up the food containers on the blanket we'd laid out for our picnic in the park, "and now Nyota, Jim Kirk, and the others have apparently agreed to return to Earth from Vulcan to face the music."

"What do you think will happen to them?"

"Let's see, they're going to be charged with sabotage, assaulting Starfleet personnel, disobeying the orders of a superior officer, and the theft and destruction of a starship. Honestly? I think Starfleet is going to throw the book at them."

"They've got a lot of distinguished service under their belts," I pointed out.

"I'm sure that'll be taken into consideration, but the charges are grave enough that I'm not sure how much difference it'll make. No, they've really dropped themselves in it this time. Ah, here comes Grace and her girlfriend now."

I looked at the attractive young girls holding hands as they walked across the meadow to meet us and smiled. Grace had always been happily gay, but Tricia was the first of her girlfriends our daughter had wanted us to meet. She was obviously more serious about this one than she had been about the others. We got to our feet to greet them, and Grace did the introductions.

"Moms, this is Trish," she said, as we shook hands with the nervous teenager, "and Trish...I'm Grace, this is my mother Janice, and this is my other mother Janice."

She laughed uproariously at this, while Trish looked puzzled and slightly alarmed.

"Don't worry about it," I told the girl, trying to suppress a smile, "our daughter has been a fan of old twentieth century sitcoms since she was a small child. That's a line she adapted from one of those that still survives."

""""""

**2286: Oakland**

"Whales?" I said.

"Hump-backed whales," said Uhura. "We brought a pair of those extinct creatures to the present from the twentieth century. They were the ones who were able to communicate with that alien probe and get it to return to wherever it came from."

"So you saved the world. Again."

"I guess we did," she agreed.

On returning to Earth, Uhura and the others had been confined to quarters until their court martial. This was the first time we'd seen her since that night five months ago when she had said goodbye to us not knowing if she'd ever see us again.

"It got pretty hairy here," said Janice, "the signals from the probe killed all planetary power, and started vaporizing the oceans and ionizing the atmosphere. I don't think we'd have survived if you hadn't found those whales."

"Yet they still court-martialled you all, Aunt Nyota," said Grace, who was sitting with us around the table in our Oakland apartment, enviously eyeing the Saurian brandy we'd insisted she was too young to share but which the rest of us were working our way through enthusiastically.

"They had to, sweetie. Regardless of our subsequent actions, the charges against us were real and they needed to be dealt with. Of course, as mitigating circumstances go, saving the world is pretty hard to beat."

"But the only one of you who was punished was Admiral Kirk, who got demoted to Captain. That doesn't seem fair."

Grace had always hero-worshipped Jim Kirk and would stand up for him against all-comers.

"It was a demotion, but it wasn't a punishment. Starfleet Command merely acknowledged what we've all always known. James Kirk *belongs* in charge of a starship. He should never have accepted that damn promotion in the first place."

"Have you guys been assigned a new ship yet?"

"Yes, we're joining her later today, though no one will tell us anything about her. We'd better not be getting a garbage scow."

"I want to hear more about the whales," said Grant, who had wandered in from the next room where he'd been playing a game with friends in Tokyo.

"Their names are George and Gracie..." began Uhura.

"Hah! Gracie!" he said.

"Don't even think it, squirt," said his sister, glaring at him menacingly.


	8. Chapter 8

**2287 - Oakland**

In these days of home replicators, preparing a packed lunch would probably be considered odd by most people, but I enjoyed the act of making things by hand, even something as prosaic as a sandwich. I was making one for Grant before sending him off to school for the day when Grace came crashing into the kitchen.

"I got it, Mom, I got in!" she said excitedly. "The notification just came through: I've been accepted into Starfleet Academy!"

Today was Grace's seventeenth birthday. She would always say afterwards that this was the best birthday present she ever received.

""""""

**2290: Starfleet Academy, San Francisco**

All eyes were on Captain James T. Kirk as he danced with class valedictorian Grace Coleman on the floor of the Starfleet Academy ballroom. Grace's own eyes were gleaming with excitement. A dance with her hero was something she could never have turned down. Jim had given the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2290 and, as tradition demanded, got the first dance of the formal ball that night with the top female cadet.

Janice and I were among those watching them, me in a designer evening gown and she in her dress uniform, as were all the Starfleet officers present.

"I've been talking with a lot of people," I told her. "Seems our daughter cut quite a swathe through the female cadets in her class during her three years at the Academy."

"Not surprising," chuckled Janice. "She _is_ very dashing."

"True. And apparently one of her conquests was a Vulcan."

"Really? I thought Vulcans considered homosexuality illogical."

"As far as anyone can tell, they do, or at least we think it puzzles them. Vulcans have always been notoriously tight-lipped when it comes to their sexual practices - we only know about pon farr because of a report Jim Kirk made after being roped into one of their rituals - so who can say for sure. I guess this girl's curiosity must have got the better of her. Can you imagine the scene? 'I do not understand these physical sensations you arouse in me.' 'You're not supposed to understand them, just to go with them.' 'To do so would not be logical.' 'Maybe not, yet here you are in my room and we're both naked. That being so, the logical thing to do next is kiss me.'"

Janice laughed.

"Hah, I can see that," she said. "That's probably _exactly_ how it went."

"What are you two chuckling about?" asked Grace. The first dance number had ended and she and Jim Kirk had come across to see us as most everyone else took to the dancefloor.

"On nothing much, darling," I said. "We were just speculating on ways in which you might be doing your bit to foster greater inter-species understanding."

Janice almost spit out her drink at this, and went red in the face trying not to laugh. Jim Kirk looked puzzled, and Grace irritated.

"Fine," she said. "Don't tell me then."

I gave her a big hug.

"It was just a private little joke between Janice and me, honest."

"Well, okay then, I guess," she said, allowing herself to be mollified, because however big you get a hug from your mother always works wonders.

"Lt. Rand," said Jim, "would you object if I asked your wife for the next dance?"

"Of course not, sir," replied Janice, who had managed to regain her composure.

"Then, Dr Lester, would you care to join me on the dancefloor?"

He offered me his arm.

"I'd love to, Captain" I said, taking it.

"You're looking very happy, Janice," said Jim, sliding an arm around my waist as we took to the floor.

"I am," I admitted. "I have a wife who adores me and two wonderful children."

"I'm truly glad for you."

"The only cloud on my horizon is that Janice ships out tomorrow on the Excelsior as its new communications officer. I don't know when I'll get to see her again. I'm going to miss her terribly."

"She'll be in good hands serving under Captain Sulu," said Jim. "He'll look after her and bring her home safely to you."

"I imagine Grace will be assigned to a starship soon as well, then there'll just be me and Grant left at home. He'll be going off to college next year. I'll really have 'empty nest syndrome' to deal with when that happens."

"Two amazing children, and Grace in particular is a young woman anyone would be proud to call theirs." He sounded wistful.

"Is everything OK with you?"

"Seeing you and Grace and Janice together, I see my life as it might have been and I find myself regretting paths not taken."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"I've done many things in my life I'm proud of, and many I'm not," he said, "but I made my bed and I have to lie in it. The chance of a family was there if I wanted it, but I chose the Enterprise instead."

"You've been an amazing captain," I said.

"Thank you; that means more than you can realize."

He looked into my eyes thoughtfully.

"Twenty years exiled on Earth is long enough. I'm going to use the clout I have with Starfleet - which is quite considerable - to get that order lifted."

"Thank you, but I'm happy where I am. I'm not in any hurry to go back into space."

"Maybe not, but you should have the option, and I'm going to see to it that you do."

The dance ended and we disengaged. Jim took my hand, gave a little bow, and kissed it.

"It was really good seeing you again, Janice," he said, sounding sad, "really good."

Then he turned on his heel and headed off back across the dancefloor.

I didn't know it then, but this was the last time I would ever see James Kirk.


	9. Chapter 9

**2293: Earth orbit**

Grace had always known Jim Kirk and I knew each other - he gave me away at both my weddings, after all - and had questioned me about him as a child. I'd told her about our time together at the academy, but left out the other stuff. Grace being Grace, she had searched Starfleet records for links between us as soon as she had the clearance to do so and had discovered something involving the two of us had happened out in space, something classified that had led to her father and I being confined to Earth. She was intensely curious about this, of course, and asked me what we had done. I used the affair being classified to avoid the question and was then able to divert Grace on to the big topic of the day.

"Captain Kirk would never have assassinated the Klingon Chancellor!" protested Grace.

"I agree, sweetie," I said, "but he and Doctor McCoy were found guilty of killing Gorkon and given life sentences to be served in the dilthium mines on the Klingon prison asteroid of Rura Penthe."

We were on spacedock - my first time in space in over two decades - where I was visiting my daughter, who was looking very sharp in her crisp new lieutenant's uniform. Only three years out of the Academy and she had already been promoted to First Officer on the USS Endurance under Captain Sarkesian. I could not have been more proud of her.

"We can't leave them there!" said Grace. Brilliant as she was, she was also headstrong and passionate, qualities I feared would get her into trouble one day.

"We have to," I said. "If the Federation is to mean anything it has to abide by its own rules and laws. Gorkon's ship was apparently fired on by the Enterprise while the Enterprise was escorting it to a peace conference. If we're to salvage anything from this tragedy, then the President and the High Council have to let Klingon justice take its course."

"Klingon justice!" Grace snorted. "There's an oxymoron if ever I heard one."

I turned back to the screen that had just delivered the news to us and watched the images again thoughtfully.

"The destruction of the Klingon moon Praxis spells the slow death of their homeworld," I said. "Either we take this opportunity to establish peace, or we all go down in flames together."

""""""

**2293: Oakland**

"It was pretty exciting, racing to Khitomer to help out the Enterprise," said Janice, eyes gleaming as she recalled the events of two months ago.

"And we're really glad you did," said Uhura. "If the Excelsior hadn't shown up in time there's a good chance General Chang's bird of prey would have finished us off and we wouldn't have been able to foil the assassination attempt on the President."

"Not everyone on the Excelsior thought Captain Sulu should've disobeyed orders to go to your aid," said Janice. "There's an ensign named Tuvok who questioned the Captain's decision. I'm afraid I really tore a strip off him."

"Tuvok. That's a Vulcan name, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes. He's the first black Vulcan I've ever met. Given the number of planets with monocultures it's nice to be reminded occasionally that Earth isn't the only planet that has racial diversity."

"There really should be more," said Uhura, "but planetary monocultures seem to be the norm out there. Most planets at our stage of development would have started out with similar levels of racial diversity, for the same reasons we did here on Earth. There are only three reasons for them to be monocultures now. One, and most benignly, increased communication and interbreeding eventually evens things out, eliminating those differences; two, disease takes all but the surviving group; or three: genocide."

"Racial genocide," I said, with a shudder. "It's hard to comprehend that level of hatred against a people because of something as trivial as the color of their skin."

"Only because we now regard judging another person on the basis of their skin color as a sign of mental illness," said Uhura, "but we've encountered other societies where those hatreds still fester. You don't need to look any further than Cheron. The dominant species on that planet went extinct in our lifetimes. Lokai and Bele, the last living members of its two races, killed each other not long after we encountered them."

"Makes you wonder how many of the dead civilisations we've found on other worlds destroyed themselves because of such hatreds."

"Yes, yes it does."

"Are you going to miss going out and exploring such cultures?" I asked.

"More than I can say," said Uhura. "We always knew the day would come when we'd all be put out to pasture, but now that it's here I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself. I'm not ready for retirement. Being in space, discovering new worlds, was all I ever wanted to do."

"Not me," said Janice. "After the excitement of Khitomer I feel like I've done my bit. I'm ready to leave space behind and to settle back here on Earth with my wife. Home is the sailor, home from the sea."

"Finally," I said. "I always knew it was something Janice needed to get out her system, but I can't tell you how happy I am she's come home to me at last."

"What will you do now?" asked Uhura.

"I've already been offered a position lecturing at Starfleet communications school," said Janice. "They always want people with starship experience."

"Huh. Maybe I should take up one of those xenolinguistics professorships they're always offering me," said Uhura.

She did not sound convinced. Janice might have got the wanderlust out of her system but Uhura clearly hadn't yet.

"Now that Janice is no longer starship crew we don't need to be based in the Bay Area anymore so that she can be mobilised at a moment's notice," I said, "so we're moving to a small coastal village in Maine we both fell in love with when we vacationed there with the children ten years ago. We'll be delivering our lectures from home and only beaming over to San Francisco a few times a month when they need to see us in person."

"What happens to the apartment?" asked Uhura, looking around her. "Lot of good memories here."

"We're giving it to Grace. Better she has a proper home to come back to than having to stay in those soulless Starfleet quarters whenever she's in town."

We were interrupted by an incoming call. A face appeared on the wall screen. It was our son Grant, calling from college. He looked stricken.

"What is it Grant, what's wrong?"

"You need to turn on your newsfeed, Mom," he said.

"Why? What's happened?"

"It's Captain Kirk, Mom. He's dead."


	10. Chapter 10

**2295: Cedar Junction, Iowa**

The Justice of the Peace was presiding at the front of the room. Before him stood our son Grant and his best friend and best man Danesh, waiting for the arrival of Amy, his sweetheart since childhood. They had moved to this small town straight out of college and now taught together at the local elementary school. Across the aisle from us were members of the bride's family while on our side there were only Janice and me with Grace and her latest girlfriend seated a couple of rows behind us. It was that girlfriend that had Janice and I in urgent, whispered conversation.

"A Klingon!"

"Clearly, Grace has changed her mind about them," I said. "I didn't realise they'd already started allowing Klingons to serve in Starfleet."

"There are only a few so far, and they're being watched very closely."

"And one of them even more closely by our daughter, apparently. What's the Klingon position on homosexuality?"

"If I remember correctly, they don't care who you have sex with. One of their most renowned generals had a string of young male lovers and no one thought anything of it. Their big thing, for both men and women, is sexual prowess and your number of conquests."

"Huh. Given their culture, I suppose that figures."

I heard the door behind us open and I turned, expecting to see the bride, but it was Uhura.

She looked terrible.

Haggard, emaciated, and supporting herself with a cane, she hobbled down the aisle and collapsed onto the chair next to mine.

"Sorry I'm late," she wheezed.

I wanted to ask her what had happened, but the organist chose that moment to strike up 'Here Comes The Bride', the door behind us opened, and Amy entered. Wearing a simple but elegant white dress and carrying a bouquet, she walked down the aisle on the arm of her proud father. My thoughts should have been focussed on my son, but instead all I could think of was Uhura. She had been delighted when Starfleet Intelligence recruited her last year, shortly before Grant and Amy moved to Iowa to take up high school teaching positions. Uhura's linguistics skills were just what they needed in an analyst, and working for them had put a new spring in her step after a couple of months where she had been at a loose end. It had been several months since we'd last all been together, so to see her like this now was a shock.

A short while later, after Grant and Amy had gotten hitched and then been whisked away to the restaurant where we were would shortly all be joining them, Janice and I collared Uhura.

"What happened?" I asked. "Are you alright?"

"Not really, no. I have Regellian polymyositis. I picked it up during the Enterprise's original five-year mission. Not being a human disease, it can't immediately act on our biology, but it stays in your body and eventually adapts until it can attack your cells. I always knew it would get me one day, and now, finally, it has. There is no cure."

"How long do you have?"

"Five years, maybe six."

Seeing the dismay on our faces, she gave a little smile.

"Don't be sad," she said, "I've had a good life."

""""""

**2296: Cinnamon Cove, Maine**

"It's a boy, moms! We're calling him Steven Arthur Coleman."

Janice and I looked at image on the wallscreen of the newborn child Grant was holding up to the camera and my heart just about melted with love. It seemed only yesterday that Grant himself was that size, now here was my baby with a baby of his own.

"He's beautiful!" I said.

"He truly is," said Janice, "and his grandmothers will be travelling over to Iowa to see him for ourselves just as soon as we can get away."

Grandmother. Of course, I was a grandmother now. That was going to take a bit of getting used to. I didn't feel old enough to be a grandmother, though I was delighted to have a grandson. I was still smiling at the news when, an hour or so later, someone knocked on our front door.

"Were you expecting anyone, honey?" asked Janice, frowning.

"No, I wasn't," I replied. "Computer, show visitor."

An image from our external cameras instantly appeared on the wallscreen. Our visitor was a young woman - tall, thin, black, and in her early twenties - dressed in a Starfleet lieutenant's uniform and toting a large bag.

"Hmmm," I said, heading for the door, "I wonder what she wants?"

"Hi," she said, a big smile appearing on her face when I opened the door to her, "it's good to see you both again."

"'Again?'" I said. "Do we know you, miss...?"

"Zoe Nyonga, and we've been friends for more years than seems possible. It's me, Janice, it's Uhura!"

"If this is some sort of joke..."

"No, it's Camus II," she said, and I felt my stomach lurch.

"You'd better come in."

Zoe did so, and seated herself at one end of our sofa. Janice and I eyed this young woman suspiciously.

"So you know about Camus II," I said. "That doesn't prove you're who you claim to be."

"No, it doesn't, so throw questions at me about times you've shared that only Nyota Uhura could answer."

For the next five minutes we did just that. Then we knew.

"It is you, but how...?"

"Zoe Nyonga was part of the Khitomer conspiracy while still a cadet - it ran deeper than any of us suspected at the time. As more and more names were uncovered, hers came to light and she was arrested. Unable to face the shame this would bring on her family, she attempted suicide. Knowing her people and the culture she comes from I can confirm that the shame would be real. She insisted that if what she had done came out she would attempt suicide again and that this time no one would stop her. So she was given a choice. Public shame and life imprisonment with restraints to ensure to ensure suicide wasn't a possibility, or she could swap bodies with someone else who would then continue on as her but with a clean record. She chose the latter, even when told she would be swapping with me and would remain secretly imprisoned until the Regellian polymyositis kills her. And here we are. I was chosen for this because Starfleet Intelligence considers my skills and experience too valuable to lose."

"So they didn't destroy the machine on Camus II after all," I said.

"No, instead Starfleet Intelligence took over the whole planet. The machine was considered to be of potentially incalculable value to their work, and it can't be moved. Its operation is tied into the magnetic field of the planet in ways Starfleet doesn't understand and hasn't figured out how to duplicate despite decades of trying. So it remains a one-of-a-kind asset."

"What's in the bag?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Zoe lifted a glass-fronted wooden box out of it, one containing a hefty chain-link fixed to a board with a small brass plate beneath bearing an inscription. I read the inscription out:

_"'This is a link from the anchor chain of HMS Endurance, the vessel which carried Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton on his ill-fated Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition in 1914'."_

I turned to Zoe.

"I don't understand," I said.

"Next year, Jenna Sarkesian will be promoted to Admiral, and Grace will take her place as captain of the Endurance," she explained. "At twenty- seven, she'll be the youngest starship captain since Jim Kirk, but she's earned it. When that happens, I'll be assigned as her Communications Officer - I seem destined to end up in that seat no matter what I do. As you know, it's traditional where possible for starships to carry artefacts from earlier vessels that bore their name. Starfleet Intelligence supplied me with that chain-link so I can ingratiate myself with Grace when I take up my assignment."

"What exactly is your assignment?"

"Since they seem opposed to peace, we've given the group responsible for the Khitomer conspiracy the codename 'Ares'. Their numbers include Klingons, Vulcans, Romulans and humans, an almost unheard of alliance. Every last one of them has to be rooted out."

"You think there are members of Ares on Endurance?"

"We don't know, that's the point. Starfleet Intelligence is getting an operative assigned to every ship in the fleet. On top of our surface duties each of us will also be responsible for ferreting out any conspirators there might be in their crews."

"Sounds like a tall order."

"It is, but it needs to be done."

Janice then asked the big question.

"Why are you telling us this? If you're working for Starfleet Intelligence you must have been sworn to secrecy."

"I was. I took an oath not to tell family members or my fellow officers from the Enterprise that I was now Zoe Nyonga, but you two are neither. It's a technicality, I know, but I needed _someone_ to know, just in case. Who better than my closest female friends?"


	11. Chapter 11

**2299: Cinnamon Cove, Maine**

As usual, I woke before Janice. Propping myself up on one elbow, I smiled down at my beautiful wife, thankful as always that she was mine. Kissing her softly on the forehead, I got out of bed and padded through to the kitchen. I brewed a pot of coffee then stood in front of our picture window sipping a cup while gazing out over the Atlantic breakers, lost in thought.

Today is our twentieth wedding anniversary, and because he gave me away at both of my weddings I found my thoughts turning to Captain James T. Kirk, a man now six years dead. In the days following his death, the full story had emerged. Despite being retired he, Montgomery Scott, and Pavel Chekov had somehow wangled a ride-along on the maiden voyage of the Enterprise-B. This was a trial run to put the ship though its paces rather than an actual mission and no one was expecting any excitement. However, during the voyage, Enterprise was ordered to rescue a pair El-Aurian refugee ships from a strange energy ribbon of unknown origin. She was able to save some of the refugees before their ships were destroyed, but in doing so became trapped in the ribbon itself. Jim went to deflector control to realign the deflector dish, allowing Enterprise to escape, but the trailing end of the ribbon made contact with the ship's hull, opening the section he was in to the vacuum of space. Jim Kirk was presumed dead.

His body was never found.

That night I had a dream about Jim Kirk, and I've had many dreams about him in the years since, yet prior to death I had never dreamed about him at all, not even once.

It was strange to think back to our encounter on Camus II, and remember how desperately I'd wanted to captain a starship. At the time this wasn't a possibility for women, but things had changed since, oh how they had changed! My daughter Grace was now one of our most daring and most gifted starship captains, a swashbuckler with a different girl in every port. She reminded me strongly of Jim Kirk. Had she been his daughter she would most definitely have been a chip off the old block. Maybe something from my long ago body swap with him had somehow rubbed off on her. An absurd idea I know, but I kinda hoped so.

"Any of that coffee left?" said Janice, coming up behind me and slipping her arms around my waist.

"Most of a pot," I said, turning in her arms and kissing her. "Happy anniversary, my love."

"Wow, twenty years already. Where does the time go?" "Yeah, we both turn sixty next year. I'm having a hard time getting my head around that one."

"True, but thanks to modern medicine everyone looks and feel twenty years younger than they would've at this age back in the twentieth century. Sixty is the mid-point of our lives rather than the start of our final decade or two. And thanks to good genetics, you barely look any different now to how you did on the day we first met."

"Well, I have a few more 'laughter lines'..."

"Right, but not many women our age can still carry off that heels and short skirt combination as well as you do. My waist has thickened out over time but yours is as trim as ever, despite you having had two children. I bet you could still get into your wedding dress. In fact, I really want you to wear it again when we renew our vows on our twenty-fifth anniversary."

"OK, it's a deal," I said.

We kissed some more, then Janice led me back to the bedroom, both of us still as hot for the other as we'd always been. It was one of those moments when I realise what a lucky woman I am. I love my life.

""""""

**2301: Cinnamon Cove, Maine**

Janice and I had killed off several bottles of wine last night, seeing in the new year together. I'd been restless, unable to sleep, so I'd left her slumbering and got up. I'd poured myself a glass of Merlot from the bottle we hadn't quite managed to finish and now I stood before the picture window sipping it, and gazing out into the darkness. There was an impressive star field visible overhead and it would be easy to imagine I was back on board a starship rather than in a cottage on the coast of Maine.

January 1st, the inaugural day of the new century - I'm one of those curmudgeons who insists years ending in 00 are the last one of the old century, not the first of the new - and life is good, yet I find myself in a very different place mentally than I was a year ago. That's because I now know who I am.

I'm James T. Kirk.

The dreams about Jim Kirk I'd been having over the previous seven years were actually memory fragments. As more and more of them bubbled up so they formed a sort of jigsaw puzzle, one my subconscious slowly started to assemble until finally, nine months ago, I had a revelation:

I'm James T. Kirk.

Or rather, I used to be him. I've been Janice Lester for the past thirty one years; I've been her almost as long as I was him, and I like my life. I'm a mother of two children and I have a wife, all of whom love and adore me, and I them. Something that precious is not to be cast lightly aside. Even had I the means to become again who I once was I wouldn't do so. Too much water has flowed under the bridge since then. Those who love me love the woman they've known all those years, in the case of my children the only person they've ever known me as. I'm their mother and I will stay their mother. I may not have known the truth of who I had been, but every decision I made after Arthur Coleman's death was my own, and I stand by them.

Integrating those returning memories with mine from the past three decades, reconciling the person I used to be with the person I am now, was not easy and, inevitably, it caused personality changes. I became less submissive in bed - a surprise to Janice, but not an unwelcome one - and more assertive and confident generally.

Our understanding was that Khan Noonien Singh's brainwashing device overwrote the existing personality of anyone subjected to it and that that personality was then gone forever. There is no record of it ever operating any other way. So how then have my own memories returned? The answer must lie with the strange mind-swapping machine on Camus II. Janice Lester told me we were still connected, and proved as much when she switched me back into her body. I suspect our minds remained 'quantum entangled' and that rather than being overwritten my original memories were stored in the link between us in some fashion. Exposure to that strange energy ribbon then triggered a cascade of memories back down the link and into my mind. Spock would have a more elegant explanation, if I told him who I was. The day the Enterprise dropped him off on Vulcan on our 'milk run' to Elba II with Khan's device was the last time I'd seen Spock in over thirty years.

Until two days ago.

They were all there at the service on spacedock, Spock, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, Bones, all of them come to pay their respects to the second of their old crewmates to die. It was an open-casket funeral, so we got to see Uhura lying there, the mortician having made that body look much better in death than it had recently done in life. Janice and I were the only ones present who knew that while her original body might be here Uhura herself was currently hundreds of light years away, serving alongside our daughter as Lt. Zoe Nyonga. I couldn't fault her for not telling her old friends she was still alive, because she was under orders not to do so. Criticising her would make me a hypocrite, because I was not bound by any orders yet I couldn't bring myself to reveal who I was, not even to the woman who shared my bed and my life. I told myself it was better to let sleeping dogs lie, that they had all mourned Jim Kirk and believed him dead, so let him stay that way. Then there was the fact that Jim Kirk still had enemies, enemies who wouldn't hesitate to strike back at him through his family. David had already been killed, and I refuse to paint targets on Grace, Grant, and Janice by telling the world who I am.

When they committed Uhura's body to the vastness of space, sending it on the long parabolic arc that would eventually carry it into the sun, I studied the craggy, aged face of my former first officer, trying to find the Spock I used to know, but it had been too long. Time had done its work and we were both different people now, particularly me.

I've read every account I could find of Janice Lester's missions after she took over as James T. Kirk, and I can't find anything in them I would've done differently. So it seems she was right all along; she did have what it took to be a starship captain after all. But to get her there she had violated me in the worst way possible. Violation of the body is one thing, but violation of a person's mind, of their very identity, is far worse. I cannot forget what she did to me, but I can forgive it. To do otherwise, to let resentment grow and fester would harm not only me but ultimately those I love, as well. Her actions as me saved the world, and I'm content to let that balance the books.

Then there's David.

By all accounts she loved my son as much as I did, but given how short a time she knew him that raises a whole lot of questions about the nature of the 'quantum entanglement' that existed between us. Was there perhaps a sense in which while masquerading as me she actually became me, became the James T. Kirk the universe needed her to be? I can't answer that question; I doubt anyone could.

So what happens next?

Because they relied on codewords rather than names or personal contact, I've been able to call in a few markers from thirty years ago to check out what Starfleet Intelligence is up to on Camus II. Something about that whole set-up makes me uneasy. Yesterday I received a piece of data that solidified that uneasiness. It appears that six months ago a certain piece of outlawed technology was removed from a secure weapons storage facility in Nevada and shipped to Camus II. Now what do you suppose Starfleet Intelligence needs with Khan's brainwashing device? Whatever it is I intend to find out, and if necessary do something to stop them.

I'm a middle-aged mom, a teacher, and not even a member of Starfleet, so it isn't going to be easy. Long odds then, but I've beaten worse and I'll beat these. Why? Because my name is Janice Lester...

...and I'm Captain James T. Kirk.

""""""

The End

""""""

_Notes:_

_1. This draws from the original TV and film continuity only since I've never read any Star Trek novels, or other ancilliary material. The conceit of this version of events is that everything you see in the films and on the TV shows still happened exactly as shown, except that every appearance of Captain Kirk after my sequel to TURNABOUT INTRUDER was in fact Janice Lester in Kirk's body._

_2. Character ages: For the purposes of my story, I've assumed Lester and Coleman are the same age as the actors playing them at the time of TURNABOUT INTRUDER. Given her lowly rank, I've assumed Janice Rand was younger than actress Grace Lee Whitney and so made her the same age as Janice Lester._

_3. In the film SEARCH FOR SPOCK it's claimed the Enterprise is twenty years old. This is clearly wrong since in the episode THE MENAGERIE we flash back to a mission 13 years earlier. Assuming she was newly commissioned then, she would be 32 years old at the time of the movie. This is the figure I've assumed in my tale._

_4. Timeline of this story is based on the Star Trek timeline at Wikipedia._


End file.
